Wednesday, October 31, 2007

我恨这感觉!

婆婆的状况没有好转的现象,反反复复。看到她就想起妈妈发病的时期。看着她们受苦,自己却不能做什么!我恨这种感觉!

性格刚强的两母女,都一样是宁愿受苦的是自己也不愿拖累别人,连讲的话也一样!
:我不想再看到自己继续拖累你们,不如你们给我毒药吃,好让我一了百了!

看着婆婆两度从鬼门关徘徊,这情景就好像当初妈在跟死神拼搏的时候。分别只是一个想死却死不了;一个却拼命都想留住那仅存唯一的一口气!

我知道也很明白人老了就一定会离我们而去;被病魔折磨的走了这样反而是种解脱;也知道人不要一直记挂着过去,要向前看、珍惜眼前。但真正要面对这档事,心还是会很痛和不舍。

看到婆婆就想起妈妈,想起了以前的种种。等我察觉时,眼泪已无声无息的流了下来。觉得自己很无用,真的很讨厌什么事都做不来,束手待毙的感觉。恨等的感觉,等着不懂死神几时会向亲人伸出魔手,一天日复一日。。。

7 comments:

renee said...

世界上有太多我们控制不到的事,看开一点,你会更快乐

kai said...

或许可以看到身边人的笑容,就是对婆婆最好的安慰了。。。

Anonymous said...

hello..

dun be like that ok ?? juz try ur best to take care her.. accompany her and finished her hope.. then is ok already.. we can't control everything in this world rite..?? i know it is very painful and very sad to u.. but ur grandmother would like to see u all happy.. rite?? but juz try ur very very best.. ok??

~gambateh~

~yi lin ~

khengsiong said...

christine,
Does your grandma have any unfulfilled wishes? Can you fulfill them?

If she is happy, perhaps she would have stronger will to live on...

christine said...

我唯一能做到的就是尽量好好的照顾她和陪伴她。谢谢大家!

木子 said...

好好陪伴婆婆,好好照顾她。

christine said...

木子﹕我會的。